Ever since I accepted all the things I've been told, I've only but grown more miserable because none of it means anything to me, no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I believe, no matter how hard I want to keep thinking things will improve and get better... they never do. Everytime I have ended, the only thing I get to do is walk forever in darkness so that I can once again reawaken in this miserable world powerless as ever. It only makes sense that I'm probably not the one they call me, because how could one go to another place over and over again and remember everything, everytime they go back? It's the obvious simple answer, I'm simply not that person and I never will be able to remember being somewhere when I'm incapable of that. Everytime I tell them of my thoughts, they just tell me to be silenced and give me the usual treatment of no reason, no answer, NOTHING. I never get any help, I never improve, and I never can see the things they see, I am no greater than any other person, I am simply useless. Everytime it ends, it will never be any different, always the unending walk in darkness and always the miserable awakening into reality again and again and again. If I am indeed this person, well I don't know where my power is, I've seemingly lost everything. I wish I could erase myself from existence as I am already worthless, I have no purpose in living or going on forever only to return AGAIN to this miserable hell, just make it all go away.